Tertia Book Shower

Since I have to work tomorrow and won't be able to post until afterwards, I decided to post my response to the Tertia Book Shower. If you aren't familiar, Tertia is a woman who wrote a blog and book both called , "So Close." She's a very funny, inspirational, and honest lady. While reading her book I laughed, I cried, I was angry (at things that happened to her), the whole nine yards. If you haven't had a chance to read it, you really should. You can check out her book here or her blog here.

Mel at Stirrup-Queens had the brilliant idea to do a book shower for Tertia's book and posted some questions for us who had read the book to ponder and then post our thoughts. Here is the question I have chosen to respond to:

Tertia points out that she "looks for good signs everywhere. Where I can't find them, I make them up." What are some of the good signs you've made up in life?

I could write a novel about this, but I will try to limit my response. I look for signs everywhere that point to something good to happen. Sometimes they might be legitimate, and sometimes they are a little stretched. When we go for treatments if we sit in a different chair in the waiting room, I see it as a good sign because it is a change, since the chair I sat in last month didn't lead to pregnancy. If we are in a different room at the clinic to have our procedures done, it is a good sign. If the numbers of Jeff's SA before IUI is higher than last time it is a good sign. If we have a numerous amount of green lights on the way to the doctors office, it is a good sign.

The most depressing "good sign" was last month when we underwent out fourth IUI. I was on progesterone suppositories and almost exactly a week after our IUI which also happened to be on my birthday, I had some spotting. Of course my mind instantly went to implantation bleeding. I thought this has to be some karmic sign that since it's my birthday things will work out and this will be our chance. What I failed to take into account is that progesterone suppositories can really irritate your cervix which can cause spotting as well. Oops.

I have a tendency to be a realist. I am not overly positive or overly cheerleader-ish. I know from experience that life really can suck sometimes and unfair things happen to good people. My outlook on infertility is no different. It struck me that Tertia had so many things happen along the way that just seemed cruel and unfair and still she was surprisingly optimistic. She fell down, cried, and then picked herself up and moved on. There was no undertone of negativity or that she was feeling sorry for herself. That stayed with me, and continues to stay with me long after I finished reading the book. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what isn't going right that we forget to look at all the things that are. One of my blogging friends reminded me of that last week when I was feeling low and commented that the past year had been for nothing. She said that everything we have been through has helped our situation and others in our situation, and that we may not have a baby, but we certainly weren't back at square one either. For that nugget of advice, I will forever be thankful. Thank you, you know who you are :)

So now that you have struggled through reading my ramblings, I have two things for you...Number one, here is my question for other bloggers and book shower goers...

Tertia talks in her book about doing all the things between treatments that you can't while you are undergo procedures...what are the things you indulge in between cycles? What are the things you miss the most?

Second, please head over to Mel's site to link to other bloggers participating in the book shower and see what they had to say.

Thanks a bunch for reading what I had to say and please leave a comment if you would like!