Why is it that whenever you want to avoid something, it is suddenly everywhere you look? Like when you break up with someone, you can't help but find hidden meaning in anything and everything from a passing car to the shape a cloud makes in the sky. That is my life with babies right now.
The more I try to avoid them, the more I am bombarded with them. The kindergarten teacher at school gave birth to her baby on Saturday. Monday there was an email waiting at school about it. Tuesday there was the card going around to sign. Tonight I get on Facebook and one of Jeff's high school friends had her baby. Even the blogger log-in page has things about babies on it right now. I realize, being a semi rational person that babies are a pretty common fact in life, a fact that humanity needs to stay in existence. I understand that, but why for the past eight months does it seem like they are EVERYWHERE and everyone in the human race has one, is waiting on one, is expecting one??
It's not that I wish any ill will against anyone who is lucky enough to have one. I am very happy for Diane and her husband, and for Jenna and Matt, I just wish I knew I had one on the way. My friend at school who went through three miscarriages before her daughter was born had the best advice. In this day and age, somehow, someway, if you want a family, you will have one. I just wish I didn't feel broken and useless.
On the subject of babies...test number two commenced today, this time at the hospital. We should find out the results in a couple of days. It is one of those catch 22 things where no news is good news...except it means we are back at square one. Not that I necessarily want something to be wrong, it would just be nice to know that we are not crazy, and have not wasted our time and money for them to tell us there is nothing they can do for us. The doctor has said that if they can't pinpoint anything, that he could prescribe an "ovulation promoting" drug to help out...Does anyone else get the visual picture of my uterus with a big flashing neon sign on it?? Okay maybe it's just me, but it made me giggle when the doctor said that.
The picture is my mom and I the last time we went to Disneyworld. I have my fingers crossed that Jeff and I will make it there sometime in the near future. It really is my favorite place on Earth! Well, time to go to bed so I can have energy to deal with my 20 'angels' tomorrow. One more day 'till Friday!
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