This picture sums up my feelings right now. To say I am looking forward to two weeks from work is an understatement.
Our next IUI is coming up. I was thinking back today to the last one...how we went up to KC extra early and were filled with nervous excitement, waking up every morning with a glowy smile, just KNOWING that this was it, that we were finally going to get our baby, that God was smiling down on us giving us his blessing, and then...nothing. I honestly don't know how to feel this time around. Do I go in positive and optimistic this time again, and then get disappointed again? Or do I just play it neutral, like if it happens great, if not oh well? I guess I'll only know when the time comes.
I have a student at school who didn't want to tell me today that he had had strep throat for at least the last two days and it was to the point where he was coughing up blood and had lacerated puss pockets on his throat and on the roof of his mouth because he didn't want to go home. How bad must that home life be?? It's just so hard being in the field I am and seeing some of the things I have to see and be in the current situation Jeff and I are. Why did these people get blessed with not having one child, but four children they don't even have the heart to take care of, yet Jeff and I, who would love our child to no end can't seem to have even one?
The thing is when I say that, I am not feeling sorry for myself, I feel sorry for those children. Those of you who aren't teachers, these children become your children. As teachers you become crazy defensive of these children, and you would do anything within your power to help them. I have called SRS numerous times on this family for various things, and they have done nothing that I have seen thus far. They haven't come to talk to the children, and the same things are still going on that have been going on for some time. It makes you feel so helpless. Everyone keeps telling me that I can only control what happens at school, but it still feels like I should be able to do more to help. I know all too well the universe is not fair, but it seems like there should be a protective clause for children.
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