Help!

Maybe I'm being unreasonable, or maybe I have just lost my mind...but don't you ever have those moments of what if?? What if maybe there was something else planned for me and I got in my own way?? Maybe I stepped in and took over and screwed up the path chosen??

I was thinking last night, while musing over how two days had passed and again, the doctors haven't called me...What if last month, when the doctors didn't call back for a week, that was God's way of trying to give me a subtle hint, that this wasn't the right timing for us?? Maybe when I called all of our other doctors and kicked and screamed until somebody listened, I did a great disservice to myself? What if them not calling back again this month is his way of trying to tell me again, to just be patient and have faith that the time we've been waiting for will come?

Am I going crazy? Am I looking for an explanation, or am I just trying to fit a square peg in a round hole?? I need some reassurances from some people who are not first hand in this situation...what do you think?? What is a sign from up above, and what is just bad communication on their part? Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill or do I make some noise again...or do I leave well enough alone?? What should I do??